55 Dirty Pick-Up Lines You Might Want to Try

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Dirty pick-up lines have been around forever, but what are they actually for? I mean, you don’t really expect to pick up someone using them, do you?

Ultimately, the point of using a dirty pick-up line is to make someone laugh. Let’s say you’re on a date, and you’re having a good time, but you’d like to lighten up the mood. What better way to do so than by using one of these dirty pick-up lines?

Top 55 Dirty Pick-Up Lines That Will Make You Blush

Incredibly Dirty Pick-Up Lines to Try at Bars

#1. “I can tell you’re into yoga, so why don’t you spend a little time showing me just how flexible you are?”

#2. “Are you a doctor? Because you just cured my erectile dysfunction.”

#3. “Are you a middle eastern dictator? Cause there’s a political uprising in my pants.”

#4. “When I saw you, I lost my tongue. Can I put yours in my mouth?”

#5. “Are you an archaeologist? Because I’ve got a bone for you to examine.”

#6. “I would tell you a joke about my penis, but it’s too long.”

#7. “What’s the difference between a Ferrari and an erection? I don’t have a Ferrari.”

#8. “Are you my homework? Cause I’m not doing you, but I definitely should be.”

#9. “You’re so hot even my zipper is falling for you.”

#10. “Let’s play house. You can be the door then I can slam you all I want.”

A Bit Tamer Dirty Pick-Up Lines

#11. ”Someone vacuum my lap, I think this girl needs a clean place to sit.”

#12. “Was your dad a baker? Because you’ve got a nice set of buns.”

#13. “They say you are what you eat. If that’s true, I could be you by morning.”

#14. “Did you just come out of the oven? Because you’re hot.”

#15. “That’s a beautiful smile, but it’d look even better if it was all you were wearing.”

#16. “That’s a nice shirt. Can I talk you out of it?”

#17. “That dress looks great on you… as a matter of fact, so would I.”

#18. “Why don’t you surprise your roommate and not come home tonight?”

#19. “They say that kissing is a language of love, so would you mind starting a conversation with me?”

#20. “I’m no Fred Flintstone, but I can make your bed rock.”

#21. “Want to save water by showering together?”

Random Dirty Pick-Up Lines to Make Your Date Laugh

#22. “Do you know your ABCs? ‘Cause I wanna give you the 4th letter of the alphabet.”

#23. “Are you a farmer? Because you’ve got some big, round, beautiful melons.”

#24. “Do you work for UPS? I could have sworn I saw you checking out my package.”

#25. “Are you a trampoline? Because I want to bounce on you.”

#26. “Why pay for a bra when I would gladly hold your boobs up all day for free?”

#27. “Pizza is my second favorite thing to eat in bed.”

#28. “Do you have a shovel? Because I’m digging that ass.”

#29. “Are you a sea lion? Because I can sea you lion in my bed tonight.”

#30. “I have a big headache. I hear the best cure for headaches is sex. What do you say we go upstairs and work out a remedy?”

#31. “If I flip a coin, what are my chances of getting head?”

#32. “Are those jeans Guess? Because guess who wants to be inside them.”

#33. “If you were an elevator, what button would I have to push to get you to go down?”

#34. “Excuse me, but does my tongue taste funny to you?”

#35. “You’re on my list of things to do tonight.”

#36. “What has 132 teeth and holds back the Incredible Hulk? My zipper.”

#37. “Your clothes are making me uncomfortable; please take them off.”

Dirty Pick-Up Lines for Every Occasion

#38. “Are you a drill sergeant? Cause you have my privates standing at attention.”

#39. “I’m like a Rubik’s Cube; the more you play with me, the harder I get.”

#40. “I know a great way to burn off the calories in that drink.”

#41. “Are you a supermarket sample? Because I wanna taste you again and again without any sense of shame.”

#42. “Let’s go to my place and do some math. Add a bed, subtract our clothes, divide your legs, and multiply.”

#43. “I’ll be Burger King, and you be McDonald’s. I’ll have it my way, and you’ll be lovin’ it.”

#44. “Did you just sit in sugar because you got a sweet ass.”

#45. “Can you do telekinesis? Because you’ve made a part of me move without even touching it.”

#46. “Sex is a sensation caused by temptation when a man puts his location in a woman’s destination. Did you understand the explanation or would you like a demonstration?”

Holiday-Themed Dirty Pick-Up Lines

#47. “Roses are red; violets are blue, my bed has room for two.”

#48. “Are you tinsel? Because I want you all over my tree.”

#49. “Are you looking for a tree topper? Because I’ve been told I’m a star on top.”

#50. “Did you ask Santa for a rhino this year? Because you look like you could use something horny.”

#51. “Do you like the song ‘Jingle Bells’? Because you look like you go all the way!”

#52. “I’m like a Christmas present — you’ll love waking up to me in the morning.”

#53. “I’m not Santa, but you can sit on my lap.”

#54. “Do you wanna eat a box of chocolates or me?”

#55. “Sorry, I didn’t get you a box of chocolates for Valentine’s day, but if you want something sweet and smooth, I’m right here.”

The Conclusion

I hope these dirty pick-up lines didn’t make you blush too hard!

Keep in mind that they’re meant to entertain your friends or someone you’re out on a date with. However, before you decide to use any of them, take a moment to think about whether the setting is appropriate, and, obviously, whether your date will understand that you’re joking.

Overall, these dirty pick-up lines may not be the best way to a girl’s heart; however, you’re bound to put a smile on her face!

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Naomi Kizhner

Naomi Kizhner

On NaomiKizhner.com, I want to share tips, tricks, and quotes that will hopefully inspire someone who might be struggling. Also, I wish to help others find their true passion in life and cut out any negativity.
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