Dirty pick-up lines have been around forever, but what are they actually for? I mean, you don’t really expect to pick up someone using them, do you?
Ultimately, the point of using a dirty pick-up line is to make someone laugh. Let’s say you’re on a date, and you’re having a good time, but you’d like to lighten up the mood. What better way to do so than by using one of these dirty pick-up lines?
Top 55 Dirty Pick-Up Lines That Will Make You Blush
Incredibly Dirty Pick-Up Lines to Try at Bars
#1. “I can tell you’re into yoga, so why don’t you spend a little time showing me just how flexible you are?”
#2. “Are you a doctor? Because you just cured my erectile dysfunction.”
#3. “Are you a middle eastern dictator? Cause there’s a political uprising in my pants.”
#4. “When I saw you, I lost my tongue. Can I put yours in my mouth?”
#5. “Are you an archaeologist? Because I’ve got a bone for you to examine.”
#6. “I would tell you a joke about my penis, but it’s too long.”
#7. “What’s the difference between a Ferrari and an erection? I don’t have a Ferrari.”
#8. “Are you my homework? Cause I’m not doing you, but I definitely should be.”
#9. “You’re so hot even my zipper is falling for you.”
#10. “Let’s play house. You can be the door then I can slam you all I want.”
A Bit Tamer Dirty Pick-Up Lines
#11. ”Someone vacuum my lap, I think this girl needs a clean place to sit.”
#12. “Was your dad a baker? Because you’ve got a nice set of buns.”
#13. “They say you are what you eat. If that’s true, I could be you by morning.”
#14. “Did you just come out of the oven? Because you’re hot.”
#15. “That’s a beautiful smile, but it’d look even better if it was all you were wearing.”
#16. “That’s a nice shirt. Can I talk you out of it?”
#17. “That dress looks great on you… as a matter of fact, so would I.”
#18. “Why don’t you surprise your roommate and not come home tonight?”
#19. “They say that kissing is a language of love, so would you mind starting a conversation with me?”
#20. “I’m no Fred Flintstone, but I can make your bed rock.”
#21. “Want to save water by showering together?”
Random Dirty Pick-Up Lines to Make Your Date Laugh
#22. “Do you know your ABCs? ‘Cause I wanna give you the 4th letter of the alphabet.”
#23. “Are you a farmer? Because you’ve got some big, round, beautiful melons.”
#24. “Do you work for UPS? I could have sworn I saw you checking out my package.”
#25. “Are you a trampoline? Because I want to bounce on you.”
#26. “Why pay for a bra when I would gladly hold your boobs up all day for free?”
#27. “Pizza is my second favorite thing to eat in bed.”
#28. “Do you have a shovel? Because I’m digging that ass.”
#29. “Are you a sea lion? Because I can sea you lion in my bed tonight.”
#30. “I have a big headache. I hear the best cure for headaches is sex. What do you say we go upstairs and work out a remedy?”
#31. “If I flip a coin, what are my chances of getting head?”
#32. “Are those jeans Guess? Because guess who wants to be inside them.”
#33. “If you were an elevator, what button would I have to push to get you to go down?”
#34. “Excuse me, but does my tongue taste funny to you?”
#35. “You’re on my list of things to do tonight.”
#36. “What has 132 teeth and holds back the Incredible Hulk? My zipper.”
#37. “Your clothes are making me uncomfortable; please take them off.”
Dirty Pick-Up Lines for Every Occasion
#38. “Are you a drill sergeant? Cause you have my privates standing at attention.”
#39. “I’m like a Rubik’s Cube; the more you play with me, the harder I get.”
#40. “I know a great way to burn off the calories in that drink.”
#41. “Are you a supermarket sample? Because I wanna taste you again and again without any sense of shame.”
#42. “Let’s go to my place and do some math. Add a bed, subtract our clothes, divide your legs, and multiply.”
#43. “I’ll be Burger King, and you be McDonald’s. I’ll have it my way, and you’ll be lovin’ it.”
#44. “Did you just sit in sugar because you got a sweet ass.”
#45. “Can you do telekinesis? Because you’ve made a part of me move without even touching it.”
#46. “Sex is a sensation caused by temptation when a man puts his location in a woman’s destination. Did you understand the explanation or would you like a demonstration?”
Holiday-Themed Dirty Pick-Up Lines
#47. “Roses are red; violets are blue, my bed has room for two.”
#48. “Are you tinsel? Because I want you all over my tree.”
#49. “Are you looking for a tree topper? Because I’ve been told I’m a star on top.”
#50. “Did you ask Santa for a rhino this year? Because you look like you could use something horny.”
#51. “Do you like the song ‘Jingle Bells’? Because you look like you go all the way!”
#52. “I’m like a Christmas present — you’ll love waking up to me in the morning.”
#53. “I’m not Santa, but you can sit on my lap.”
#54. “Do you wanna eat a box of chocolates or me?”
#55. “Sorry, I didn’t get you a box of chocolates for Valentine’s day, but if you want something sweet and smooth, I’m right here.”
The Conclusion
I hope these dirty pick-up lines didn’t make you blush too hard!
Keep in mind that they’re meant to entertain your friends or someone you’re out on a date with. However, before you decide to use any of them, take a moment to think about whether the setting is appropriate, and, obviously, whether your date will understand that you’re joking.
Overall, these dirty pick-up lines may not be the best way to a girl’s heart; however, you’re bound to put a smile on her face!
