When you are an introverted individual, your worst nightmare is often conversations. Whether this be with new people or even old friends, talking is often a frustrating process full of negative outcomes. It often feels like you can’t win.
However, learning to overcome this struggle is important. The right conversation keeps you in touch with your friends and makes you more popular at work. To avoid this, here are some tips on how to be more talkative to improve your socializing game.
How to Be More Talkative: 16 Tips
These tips are specific to different situations. Don’t feel pressured to use all of them, but rather pick the ones you think will benefit you the most. Try a couple at a time, and change it up for different kinds of conversations. They may feel odd at first, but you’ll eventually find what works best for you.
1. Act Confident: The first step in any conversation is to act confident. The phrase “fake it until you make it” rings true when trying to hold a conversation with others. The more confident you act, the more confident you will feel. People will also find you to be more approachable.
2. Practice: Practice makes perfect. Start by practicing in the mirror. Focusing on trying out specific questions, such as the kinds of questions you may want to ask in a conversation or how to react to specific responses. Then, try the same conversations with people you are already close to until you feel more comfortable.
3. Take the Lead: Trying to squeeze yourself into a conversation is difficult. The best course of action is often to just take the lead rather than wait for an opportunity to arise. That way, you guide the conversation rather than struggling to keep up.
4. Come up with Topics: Researching different conversation topics may help you feel prepared for your next conversation. Try to research a variety of different topics from light and small talk to subjects more deep and personal.
5. Be Yourself: Being yourself is the number one priority in any conversation. You know yourself better than anyone. Instead of trying to appease the people you’re talking to, worry about you. You will do better by being yourself and not having to lie or remember to fake a response.
6. Active Listening: Active listening is an essential skill to learn when trying to have conversations with others. Maintaining eye contact, and open body language shows that you are listening. It also makes you more approachable so others will start a conversation with you.
7. Push Yourself into the Conversation: If you cannot take the lead in a conversation, don’t be afraid to push yourself into it. Find an opening, even if it’s not an obvious pause, and insert yourself when possible. Sometimes, it feels rude to cut in, but it’s a natural part of many conversations. Just try to let the person finish speaking first.
8. Open up: It’s hard to share information with new people. However, by staying quiet and keeping to yourself, many people think you don’t want to talk or are nervous. Opening up and showing people who you are makes you more approachable. People like honest individuals who seem genuine, so use that to your advantage.
9. Open-Ended Questions: Open-ended questions are the best way to keep conversations flowing. There are no short abrupt answers, but rather an open dialogue that can lead to a natural flow of conversation. Try to avoid asking yes-or-no questions when you’re talking to keep the conversation moving and take some of the conversation load off of yourself.
10. Follow up: If you see the same people later on, be sure to follow up on any information you are given. If they mentioned something previously, ask more about it, such as how their daughter is doing. This lets them know you were interested in the conversation and actually listened.
11. Learn to Read Body Language: Other people often give off signals about how they are feeling during a conversation through their body language. Learning to read these signals helps you better navigate conversations and avoid any awkwardness.
12. Find People You Are Comfortable around: When you are around people you are comfortable with, conversations flow much easier. The people who know you will help you feel included and help you push into conversations.
13. Small Talk: Small talk often seems boring or something to avoid, but it is a great place to start conversations. It is a good lead-in to help you slowly start working on more deep topics.
14. Get Deep: Once you get past small talk, don’t be afraid to get deep. People like opening up to others often and feel more connected with you when they have a deeper conversation. It’s intimidating at first, but it sure helps to keep someone engaged.
15. Switch It up: When things start to grow dull or the conversation dies off, don’t be afraid to hop around. Jump to new topics to keep the conversation fresh.
16. Talk about Your Interests: When all else fails, talk about the things you are passionate about. People like hearing passionate people speak and learning more. You may even find others with similar interests this way. Be careful not to use this one too much, or you risk annoying people.