We’ve all experienced it — that awful, empty feeling after the doom of a relationship when we just want to crawl into bed and cry our eyes out. Let’s face it — breakups are tough whether you got dumped or you were the one to end things. You are now probably asking yourself how to feel better after a breakup.
Forget about drowning in your sorrow. Enough of blaming yourself and analyzing every little detail of your relationship in hopes of figuring out where things went wrong. But most importantly, stop crying in your shower while singing Adele’s most heart-breaking hits.
It’s high time you got better and started fresh. Believe it or not, it is possible! Here are nine tricks that will make your post-breakup life easier and help you heal.
How to feel better after a breakup in 9 steps
#1. Allow yourself to grieve
It’s OK to cry. A breakup is usually a huge shock, and naturally, it’s hard to cope. Crying will make you feel better, and you will be able to move on more quickly.
Remember, you shouldn’t bury your feelings — if you do, it will take a much longer period for you to recover. Instead, give yourself time to process them. After a couple of days, wipe your tears away and tell yourself it’s time to move on.
#2. Delete your ex from your life
It is not easy to get over someone when their picture or belongings just randomly pop up everywhere. Therefore, you should make your environment as ex-free as possible.
First of all, get rid of all of their things. Once you are not surrounded by those painful reminders of your relationship, things will get much easier.
What you do with them is up to you: return them, give them away, or sell them. Hell, why not — you could even burn them. Whatever works best for you.
However, if there are some things that you would like to keep, that is also OK, as long as they will not make you miss your ex. For example, you could keep a useful gift you got from them.
In addition, unfollow or block them on all social media that you can think of. The worst thing you can do to yourself is to spy on them via Facebook or Instagram. Even if they are suffering, they will certainly not share that online, and seeing a bunch of their happy, smiling photos will do you no good.
Also, no cheating allowed! If you block them, but then use your friend’s account to check their profile, you’re not doing it right.
#3. Indulge yourself
If you are wondering how to get better after a tough breakup, you should know that the key is taking care of yourself, both physically and mentally. Make sure you get enough sleep, go to a spa, or get a relaxing massage.
Eat your favorite pizza or ice-cream without thinking of all those calories — comfort food is called that for a reason.
Focusing on your mental well-being is a great way to heal. Nurture your inner self, and you will become happier and more confident. Try out meditation or yoga — they are some of the best methods to overcome depression and a great way to feel better after a breakup.
#4. Spend time with your friends and family
People that are closest to you will make the post-breakup days easier and more cheerful. After all, we all sometimes need a shoulder to cry on or someone to make us laugh. Moreover, they might also share some of their tips and tricks on how to feel better after a breakup.
For instance, make popcorn, get some wine, and invite your friends over to watch some good breakup comedy. My personal favorites are fun, positive movies such as 500 Days of Summer or Forgetting Sarah Marshall. Laughing at Jason Segel’s clumsy tries to get over his ex made me feel better after a breakup every single time.
You can also go shopping with your friends. Group activities can be quite healing, and you will feel like a part of the team.
Finally, when it comes to venting your frustration, there is nothing like going out and dancing all night. You can completely relax, enjoy the music, sing out loud, and maybe even meet some new, interesting people.
However, I would advise you to hand your phone over to your friends. Drunk-calling your ex is a recipe for disaster.
#5. Keep busy
In those moments when you are alone, there’s a big chance you will start thinking about your ex and curse them for breaking up with you. If you’re asking yourself how to feel better after a breakup, trust me, that’s not the way to go. Making sure you always have something to do will help you take your mind off of them.
Use your breakup to make some positive changes — for example, why not work on getting a promotion now that you have all that free time? Or find a good course that will help you improve some of your skills? There is no one to whine about you staying overtime, and achieving success at work will definitely make you more fulfilled.
Taking up a new hobby will also help you find a new lease in life. I’m sure there are many things you’ve always wanted to try but never did.
Want to be a better dancer or learn how to ride a horse? Now is the time to give it a try. Even if you don’t have such ambitions, there’s probably a bunch of movies on your watchlist or books that you want to read, but never found time for.
Being able to do whatever you want is a great silver lining — you don’t need to make compromises any longer. Think about all those things you love doing, but haven’t done in ages because your ex didn’t like them. Doing stuff that they hate and enjoying them can be your kind of revenge.
#6. Get Yourself Moving
Physical activity is an amazing remedy for stress relief and another way to feel better after a breakup. It will help you deal with anxiety and anger, sleep better, and overall feel healthier and more confident.
Pick an activity that works best for you. If you like spending time with people, take up some group sports or sign up for a dancing class. Not only will it make you feel more relaxed and get you in better shape, but you will also meet lots of new people and make some friends.
On the other hand, if you enjoy your alone time, go swimming, try yoga, or just hit the gym on your own. Kickboxing is another good option as it’s great for releasing all your negative energy and anger (imagining your ex’s face on the punching bag might also help).
#7. Learn to enjoy being alone
After a breakup, lots of people, especially those who ended long relationships, find it difficult, or even embarrassing, to be alone. There is nothing wrong with being alone, and you should learn to enjoy it and embrace your singlehood.
For instance, go to the movies on your own. You might actually enjoy the movie even more without your ex’s interruptive comments. Going to a restaurant alone is another good idea, as you will be more mindful of what you eat.
Finally, you can try the whole “Eat, Pray, Love” thing and go on a solo trip. It doesn’t need to be somewhere far away, but the experience will definitely broaden your horizons.
#8. Don’t make any rash decisions
If you’re wondering how to feel better after a breakup, trust me, making major changes in your life is not the solution. It’s quite natural that you want to mark your fresh start with some major change. However, I suggest waiting until you heal, as you might make a big mistake.
You’ve been thinking about changing your haircut? If it’s just a small correction, great. Then again, if you suddenly have an impulse to cut it completely short or make a drastic color change, think again — you will probably regret it.
In addition, getting a tattoo after a breakup has become a thing in recent years. Having a broken heart and one of those “Life goes on” quotes tattooed, or even something like “Linda, go to Hell”, may seem like a good idea now, but you will probably change your mind in the future.
On the other hand, these changes are related to our looks and eventually can be fixed. However, you might feel compelled to do something even more drastic — something that would have greater consequences. Believe me, getting a brand new car (that you can’t really afford) or moving house won’t mend your broken heart.
#9. Take your time to heal
Recovering after a breakup is a long process. It’s important that you don’t pressure yourself and that you take things slowly. Time heals all wounds, so remember that eventually, you will feel amazing again.
Moreover, don’t, under any circumstances, try to find a replacement for your ex and jump into a new relationship while still heart-broken. That will only make things worse for you, and would not be fair to your new partner.
Given these points, now you know how to make yourself feel better after a breakup. It is OK to cherish the good memories, but once you stop blaming yourself and accept that it simply didn’t work out, you will be able to live your life to its fullest again.
Give yourself time, nurture yourself, and in the end, you will appreciate yourself more than ever before.